Friday, August 1, 2014

FRIDAY BOOK REVIEW: Backstage at the funeral home, and lookee-loo syndrome

By BRAD WEISMANN


Mortuary Confidential: Undertakers Spill the Dirt
Kenneth McKenzie and Todd Harra
2010
Citadel Press
New York

“ . . . the dead don’t complain, but their families sure can.”

We are fascinated by the forbidden. Sex, graphic violence, personal secrets and indiscretions revealed all put us off . . . but draw us in as well.

This is no truer than about the subject of death – how we die, what happens to us, the repercussions for the living – and all the possible misadventures our abandoned bodies can suffer. This compulsion to slow down and gawk at tragedy, known to rush-hour commuters as the “lookee-loo” syndrome, is part of the reason for this blog, and part of the reason for the writing of “Mortuary Confidential.”

“Mortuary Confidential” is a book of funerary anecdotes. It is an illuminating compendium, and it does go far beyond what a reader might expect. It is not merely a grotesquely comic retailing of death-ritual mishaps and bungles, although there are heavy handfuls of them listed among the 50 stories given here. Wisely, the authors go over many aspects of the profession, including dealing with the idiosyncratic bereaved and uncomprehending officiants. There are also stories about patient spouses who deal with the 24/7 demands of the trade, and poignant, life-changing moments that funeral directors experience in the presence of mourners, and much more.

If there is a flaw here, it is that all the anecdotes have been written in one authorial voice. It’s as though the authors compiled the raw data and then pressed out each story from the same mold – the tone becomes monotonous after a while. And the most interesting observations come in Harra’s introduction, when he notes that his profession is a “hidden” one, not lauded or even thought of until necessity intervenes, that it represents “a failure to our scientific/medical-oriented society.”


That we fixate on the morbid details of life at times is indicative of our voyeuristic impulses. However, our peering over the gates of the funeral home also demonstrates the seriousness with which we invest it. Per Harra, “ . . . we, as a society, must uphold a basic principle of humanity, the sanctity of life, through reverence for the dead.” Well said.